how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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