Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
