I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
