There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
