Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
