I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
