All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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