He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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