Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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