Got a toothbrush?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
