Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize