party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
