he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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