NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
