I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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