I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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