i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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