so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
