RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
