just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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