I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i came on her dog
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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