You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
