PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
