Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
