she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
