what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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