Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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