genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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