omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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