took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
