didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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