lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
