I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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