She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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