p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
