so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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