Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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