Whoa Z and x make the same sound
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
