Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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