i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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