I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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