wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
