we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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