just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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