do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
