i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
