don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
