Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So apparently I’m into choking now
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
