They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
