respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
