@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
