She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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