We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
