Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
