where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
