You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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