when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
