I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
