btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
