is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
