just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am available for nakedness
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize