I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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