My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
