Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
its not stalking. its research.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
